November is a time when men’s mental health can take centre stage, thanks to campaigns like Movember that help to get men talking. With men making up 75% of suicides each year in Australia, and only around one in three men with a mental disorder seeking professional help, it’s important that we continue raising awareness and encouraging support.
We asked our Mental Health First Aider (MHFAider) community to share their insights on men’s mental health – on checking in on mates, supporting connection, and the men in their lives that inspire them to be open and honest about mental health.
As a community trained in MHFA, it’s not surprising that 75% of respondents said they’d checked in with a mate in the past week. Here are some of the things they want you to know when having a conversation with the men in your life.
Small check-ins can have a big impact
One of the most common themes was that checking in matters. For many, a simple text, phone call, or moment of presence can be the difference between someone feeling alone and feeling seen.
“Don’t do nothing. Check in, follow up and check in again. Then listen when they start to talk,” said MHFAider Paul.
“Regular check-ins matter,” another MHFAider said. “Particularly with those who live alone. If we’re not checking in, they won’t know we’re here for them.”
Listen, don’t fix
Many reflected that sometimes the best thing you can do is to listen. It can be tempting to problem-solve when we care about our mates, but support starts with empathy – not answers.
“Don’t offer a solution and think you’ve done your job. If a mate opens up to you, let him talk – it’s probably taken months for him to talk, so stay quiet and listen,” said Shane.
Listening actively and without judgement is a core mental health first aid skill that can help people feel safe to talk – and ultimately seek help.
Be vulnerable and model openness
Across generations, MHFAiders spoke about how courage and vulnerability often go hand in hand.
“I manage a number of younger staff and volunteers and have noticed a difference in how Gen Z men talk about mental health,” said Dean.
“They tend to be more open to talking about it but less open to being vulnerable. I try to share a bit about what’s going on in my own life, so they know it’s okay to be vulnerable – and it works.”
“Being vulnerable doesn’t make you weak and it in no way affects your masculinity,” said Kylan.
“Most men are struggling in one way or another and we’re not alone. We just don’t tend to speak about it, and it’s time to change that narrative and support one another.”
Challenge the “tough it out” mentality
There’s been a shift in attitude towards mental health, but the “tough it out” mentality still lingers for many.
“Acknowledging that feelings are valid doesn’t make you weak. Seeking help is a sign of strength – just like addressing a physical illness,” said Will.
“After years of anger and stubbornness affecting his health, my dad now realises the need to be calmer and look after himself – mentally and physically,” said Hollie. “I wish he’d started caring about his mental health sooner, but I’m glad he’s doing it now.”
Make new safe spaces
As the world evolves, so do the spaces we connect in. For some of our MHFAiders, this means creating new environments to have honest conversations free from stigma.
Ewan noted that while spaces like pubs or barbers may once have been common places to chat, not everyone feels comfortable opening up there today. “We can help make new spaces where we can talk without fear of shame or judgement,” he said.
“Talk in an environment where they are comfortable – in the lunchroom or out under a tree rather than in the office,” said Sam.
Support can look different for everyone, and what matters most is doing what works for that person.
Learn from the men who inspire us
When asked who inspires them when it comes to talking about mental health, MHFAiders spoke about ways the men in their lives are helping to break down barriers.
For Dean, it was an old line manager whose vision made staff wellbeing a top priority. “He spearheaded an overhaul of the organisation’s staffing structure to put staff wellbeing first.”
“My mate that works in ski patrol,” said Kylan. “He has conversations with people experiencing mental health problems all the time, despite being really busy. He’s always there to lend an ear or advice when I’m battling my own issues.”
Ewan found inspiration in his father after his mother’s passing. “I moved back home to help care for my parents when my mother fell ill. I stayed after she passed because I knew my dad needed me. We talked about everything – openly and honestly, without shame.
“When I started having anxiety attacks a few years later, he was then the first person I thought to call. My father inspires me to be a better role model for others every day, and that will last long after he’s gone.”
Learn the skills to help listen, connect and support
Mental Health First Aid® (MHFA®) training helps you navigate mental health conversations with a focus on active listening and non-judgemental support. It can help you to not only recognise subtle signs, but to also ask the right questions, break down barriers and support someone in a way that is right for them.
Want to make a real difference? Register for an MHFA course and learn the skills to recognise, understand and respond to mental health problems or crises
